Be Fantastic!

There is no heaven for a Time Lord. I know that. We weren’t taught much at the academy about death, about the end of one’s life, because we all knew we could continue. But that wasn’t really true. A part of us always died, and it was a true an’ proper death. Our past self would be no more. Not in the proper continuum of things.

There is no heaven for a Time Lord. I know that now more than anything.

I regenerated, I became nothing. I felt that. I felt the fire, I felt the end, and I felt death more than I had before now. I was gone. I couldn’t be there for her. My last claim in life was to save one Rose Tyler. Maybe that helped me atone for all else that I’ve done. Maybe not. But to see her face before the flame engulfed me was enough. It was calming. I died, though. I can no longer protect her. She’s in the hands of some other man. Maybe ‘e’s braver than me. Maybe ‘e can act upon the things I couldn’t. Maybe ‘is ‘ead is clearer than mine ‘ad been. I dunno. I won’t ever know. I don’t really want to either.

It feels sor’ of hard to breathe now. I can’t believe I still can. I’m dead. I know I am. I can feel somebody else’s consciousness overlappin’ my own. I’m bein’ pushed to the side, until I’ll just be a dusty imprint in the back of ‘is - mine, ours, whatever - head.

It’s dark an’ lonely in ‘ere. More than I’ve ever felt before. A Time Lord’s brain is vast. I guess the truth of the ma’er is, I’ve been tucked away. Much like my jacket in the corporeal world, I’m sure. I won’t get visited. I’m just the mind of an old man locked away in a newer model.

Death isn’t really death for a Time Lord, yet it feels more like the words you humans use than anything. I’m still alive, my mind still works, but it isn’t my own anymore. My body is dead - hijacked, more like. And in a way, so am I.

It’s hard to share a body and soul with someone else. You’d think it’d be easier, but it isn’t. We’re forgotten. I wish there was some light to be shed on the matter more.

I wish I could just…I wish I could just ‘ave a hand to hold again. I wish I could just…

I wish…

I wish I ‘adn’t been a coward. I wish I ‘ad said all I needed to. I wish I could’ve looked past an’ beyond my hatred an’ self-loathin’. I wish I could get those times back. I swore to never take them for granted, but I did. I took each moment for granted. I’m a Time Lord. Time is infinite if we chose to make it. I didn’t worry about your lives bleedin’ away in the blink of my eye. I didn’t even think mine could. I had changed. I wanted my life to end, but then I met you lot. I met you lot and it shaped me, it gave me purpose. It gave me reason.

It gave me Home. But now I’ve lost that too. I’m not meant to have a home. It isn’t for me to. I just…I wish for just one last time, I could just…

Even if I cry nobody would hear me. I’m more alone than I’ve ever been, yet I feel so surrounded. I wish there was some light. But what ‘as wishin’ ever done for me? Nothin’. I can hear ‘er voice now. I can…is that…

There is no heaven for a Time Lord.

But sometimes,

twists of fate work to our favor

and give us

a miracle.

Now listen; this is important.

If this message is activated, it means I’m gone. Long gone. This is programme I’ve left this site. Maybe not completely, or for god, but I am dropping it. It’s tedious to do this an’ try to save the worlds that need defendin’. Earth especially. An’ I bet you’re fussin’ and moanin’ now - typical! But hold on and just listen a bit more. Maybe in a few years, I’ll pick it back up again, but if this programme is bein’ implemented then I guess it only means one thing. I can never return to this site. tumblr programme one means I’m facing an enemy that should never get their hands on me or this machine. Now maybe I’ve jus’ gone off for a bit, but I doubt it. This is it.

So this is what you should do: let this blog die. Just let this old blog gather dust. No one will open it, no one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on your list of follows. And over the years, you will move on, and this blog will be buried. And if you wanna remember me, then you can do one thing. That’s all, one thing. Have a good life. Have a fantastic life. If I’ve ever taught you anythin’, do that. An’ thank you. Jus’…thank you, from the bottom of my hearts.

Wh-wha’? Where am I?

Wha’s…the Game Station?

always bringin’ you the wrong order, trust me, Rose, you’d learn not to trust it either. Don’t believe me? Jus’ wait till they mix your Scradonay with the house salad, then see. Not much of a house salad when the food floats towards the outside dinin’ area.

“Doctor, it’s fine. This is a lovely place, don’t spoil it.”

Spoil it - I’m not spoilin’ anything.

“Yeah, but only ‘cause we won’t let ya, Doc.”

“So why’d you bring us here, Doctor?”

Wha’, can’t treat you lot out for a nice night without bein’ questioned?

Blimey!

“No really, Doctor, what’s on the menu - and I don’t mean for this place.”

Nothin’!

…alright, I jus’ felt like goin’ out this time, somewhere nice. Tha’s all.

“Aww, our Doc’s gettin’ sweet on us, Rose.”

Yeah an’ don’t go expectin’ much more of that from ‘ere on out.

“Well…I’m sor’ of glad you did this, Doctor. I’ve ‘ad weird feelings for ahwile, so, guess I just needed this.”

“Oh look, guys, foods here! Well as they said on the peninsula, bottoms up! And they even brought the Doctor some beer, how thoughtful.”

Yeah, yeah, Jack.

“Doctor, you lied, this lookssoooogood!”

I’m glad you think so, Rose.

I’m glad you think so.

I usually - only once before really - don’t go on here as myself. It’s an rp blog and I keep it strictly to that, except in the tags. But I just wanted to say, I’ve been busy and honestly just not feeling the whole rp thing anymore. I don’t know what it is. I see your questions and I want to answer them, I just can’t bring myself to anymore.

A lot of people have been unfollowing me, I guess because I haven’t posted much in a while, but to my loyal followers on this blog, I just want to thank you so very much. Your support has meant the world to me and it was amazing and fun while it lasted, but I think I’m done now. I’m shutting down the askbox (and will probably lose all 628 of my followers /cries) but if you want to talk to me or whatever, you can find me here. I’m on 24/7 to be honest. 

I’m going to make a more formal post in Nine’s ‘voice’ later on today or tomorrow.

Before I do go, though, I’ll leave you with a last Nine story of my own creation, just a little adventure he and the team went on before they headed up to that final meeting. Should be up tonight, but no promises. A last parting, I guess.

Again, to my loyal followers, thank you so much. You’ve made this experience such a pleasure to me. I treasure this and I hope you’ll still come back on this site sometime, and just reminisce like I will. We had some good times, right?

ask-the-oncoming-storm:

askthe9thdoctor:

If tha’s not the cloister bell, than what is that sound —?

What- what are you looking at?

Hm?

I wasn’t lookin’ at anything.

ask-the-oncoming-storm:

askthe9thdoctor:

I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Thought so.

Right, so- Cloister bell’s not going off, so we’re not in danger of a supernova. Does mean that we can’t solve it like last time… Let’s see then…

If tha’s not the cloister bell, than what is that sound —?

ask-the-oncoming-storm:

askthe9thdoctor:

Don’t you go tellin’ me what to do, this is my TARDIS.

Alright, shields are this way, I —

Yeah, well, I knew it wasn’t this way.

Er, right then, over ‘ere we’ve got the…tha’

Tha’ can’t be right, the shields are powered down.

Ah, well- not like it hasn’t happened before. Remember?

Or maybe not- time can be wibbly wobbly…

I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

ask-the-oncoming-storm:

askthe9thdoctor:

Now then.

Shall we go fixin’ this - or are you jus’ gonna stand there like the idiot you are? C’mon then. Might as well go be of some use.

Right then! I’ll check the Governing Circuits and you check the Vortex Shields. Allons-y!

Don’t you go tellin’ me what to do, this is my TARDIS.

Alright, shields are this way, I —

Yeah, well, I knew it wasn’t this way.

Er, right then, over ‘ere we’ve got the…tha’

Tha’ can’t be right, the shields are powered down.